Me, Myself and Mega

9 Aug

There is a negative correlation between how easy is it to get laid in a place and the gayness of said place. Case in point, the billboard Ads Featuring adult men playfully sucking on ice cream cocks. These images (that I’ve grown to loath) are the dreadful conclusion to this summer Mega ice cream campaign “Me, Myself and Mega,” a campaign that maintained its self-set level of low standards all the way to the end.

I am flabbergasted that nobody else seems to pick on the homoeroticism of these Ads. Can you people even get more desensitized, or has this become our way of channeling our sexual frustration. Sigmund Freud realized that almost everything is about sex (although he understood that “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar”) and his words rings a billion times truer every time my eyeballs falls one of these Ads. In Saudi Arabia, boys fucking/sucking each other in high school is not considered gay but just a “phase”, a sexy rite of passage on your way of becoming a man. The way things are moving now I don’t think we’re that far behind.

Also, since I’m talking about my Saudi brothers, I wanna point to that shit-smeared look that our Ad-boys are busting. There are different schools of facial hair grooming, and that rough look is not exclusive to the gulf, but these homies have a different game. I can’t point my finger on it but I can smell that kabsa reeking from these stubbles and I don’t like it.

Now this campaign got its kick-start by a radio Ad, the one with the unmistakably seductive voice of a woman. When I first heard it I thought I must’ve left a Redtube window open or something–it’s straight up dirty talk, and her tone! she was talking on the It’s-time-to-fuck frequency. It’s like that Bill Hicks bit about the perfect ad, a woman holding a product while sitting comfortably in the nude. See, when a guy gets in that zoon, part of his brain shuts down, and it’s the same part that tells you not to photoshoot your self in such compromising position.

Anyway, this isn’t about the big picture, this is about things that makes you stop, things that when combined create what is greater than the sum of their parts. This campaign, along with other cultural pillars, are all poisoning the air with their lethal paradox, one that suggest to guys that fagging out to impress a lady is totally legit—I call bullshit.

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4 Responses to “Me, Myself and Mega”

  1. Nahla August 11, 2009 at 1:43 pm #

    the homoerotic undertones punch u in the face, they are hardly subtle or concealed. if anything, they have made me feel awkward all alone in my car on many an occasion… (not coz i’, homophobic, i’m not. but coz i it feels like i’m witnessing someone’s extremely private moment with their phallic ice cream. it has an illicit voyeuristic feel to it).

    as for the girl with the velvety voice, hearing her on the radio conjures up images of the 30 year-old something spinster who gets all dolled up, unwinds with a glass of wine, her favorite barry manilow cd, and her favorite dildo!! but after the 100th time of listening to those ads, her voice has grown to be annoying as hell! arrogant, condescending, and entirely insincere!

    the sad thing is, that the ppl featured in the ad are real ppl, as opposed to “modellat”. the name corresponding to the image is real, and a cpl of them i actually recognize from the social scene… it makes it all the more cringe-worthy!

    but then again, i wld not expect anything less from our confused culture!

  2. Haisam August 11, 2009 at 5:56 pm #

    First, thanks a lot Nahla for the meety comment, me likey. And thank you for making me feel better about my self, I am glad I wasn’t alone on this.

    And fuck homophobia, this is not about that. It’s about how in Egypt gayness is completely unacceptable, yet acting gay is cool as can be. People, pick a side and own it because I am sick of paradoxes.

  3. Anonymous August 22, 2009 at 12:50 am #

    haitham u are definately gay urself. So go find something better to do or observe u sick bitch.

  4. Haisam September 8, 2009 at 10:13 pm #

    @Anonymous, my first troll, I feel so precious.

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