Birell

15 Jun

Hey fagot, put down the Jack Daniel’s whiskey bottle and drink this non-alcoholic beer like real men do. Pufft, you’re such a dripping pussy what with you not drinking non-alcoholic beer and fucking all the women–Man the fuck up and gulp that zero percent brew down your throat pronto.

By assuming there’s someone out there who doesn’t get the staggering irony in Birell’s marking campaign I’ll already sink too low, almost scraping the button of the barrel where Birell hatched their Masculinist scheme–what kind of fucked up idea of masculinity is being sold here? And since when do we hold group interventions for queers.

Among the lessons of manhood Birell has forgot to mention is. You’re only a fag if you get porked in your ass not the other way around; Always piss while standing up; A woman’s mouth is for sucking cock, a mans mouth is for sucking Birell’s bottleneck. You should never let a woman look you directly in the eye for more than 5 seconds as it’s a sign of disrespect. And you manually refill a bottle of Birell by ejaculating in after masturbating to Ricky martin.

Here is the real elixir of manhood, the real Birell, drink that.

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2 Responses to “Birell”

  1. sophia June 15, 2010 at 7:11 pm #

    thank god you posted on BFE where the BF you went. your blog gets me all frothed out in a fizz of birrel/birl fury. x

  2. nouna June 25, 2010 at 9:58 am #

    as usual, egyptian advertising pulls something out of it’s ass… (pun on masculinity intended)… while underestimating their audience’s intelligence, and rightly so… i don’t see anyone jumping to object with social critical theory arguments…

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